Sometimes, it’s hard for us to express our emotions, let alone know how to process our emotions. I pray in this post that you will find comfort in knowing it’s okay to have emotions and feelings and that you will have a better understanding of how to process them in a healthy, God-honoring way.
I think all of us want and need to know we have a Father who cares for us. He is not a Father who is waiting for us to mess up so He can strike us for a sin we have committed. There are reasons things happen, but not everything happens for a reason. He’s not sending us pain or sickness. We experience those things because of the sin in this world from the fall of Adam and Eve.
By the way, what if I told you your feelings aren’t inherently bad or sinful? You don’t need to fear or suppress them. They can be a guide. If you’re interested, I have a free 3-day study on living by faith while processing emotions. Check it out here!
There’s a beautiful tension we’re called to in this world: living with peace and joy even as we experience suffering, pain, and heartbreak. But how do we find peace and joy? God is the antidote and prescription for our pain. One of my favorite scriptures to remind me of this truth is from the book of Psalms.
Bless the Lord, O my soul;
And all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget not all His benefits:
Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases,
Who redeems your life from destruction,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies, Who satisfies your mouth with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. (103:1–5)
The psalmist reminds us of all His benefits. His promise to us is that He will get us through the hard times and the consequences of sin because His Son paid for our sins.
God is the Healer. He’s not into pain management. He’s a pain taker. We have gone through situations in the past that have kept us from experiencing God to the fullest.
Listen to me explain this in further detail on my podcast.
What Processing Your Emotions Even Mean
Processing your emotions in a biblical way means embracing a compassionate and faith-driven approach to handling your feelings. Something I always like to say is that our feelings have a seat at the table but they are not the centerpiece.
It starts with honestly acknowledging your emotions, just as the Psalmists did, expressing everything from joy to sorrow. Bringing these emotions to God in prayer is essential, as Philippians 4:6-7 encourages us to present our concerns to God, promising peace in return (because our trust is not in what we feel).
Seeking wisdom through Scripture, as James 1:5 suggests, helps us understand and manage our feelings constructively.
Sharing your struggles with trusted members of your faith community, in line with Galatians 6:2, can provide much-needed support and empathy.
Meditating on Scripture, such as Psalm 119:105, offers guidance and comfort during emotional challenges.
Embracing forgiveness as taught in Ephesians 4:32, is crucial for emotional healing. Lastly, maintaining hope and trust in God’s plan, reassured by Romans 8:28, can provide comfort and perspective, helping you navigate your emotions with faith and grace.
Do you need help understanding forgiveness and forgiving someone? Get my biblical study on forgiveness here!
Face Off with Your Feelings eBook
$10.00Many of us allow our feelings to be the engine in our lives instead of the caboose. We are run by our feelings when we run away from them. But as Jessica Hottle teaches, we no longer have to run and hide from our feelings. Our feelings can lead us into a deeper relationship with God.Whether you feel too busy to slow down; believe you are not worth the time, the effort, or the fight; feel so overwhelmed with where to start; or have no idea how to take your thoughts captive, question your thoughts, or renew your mind, this…
3 Steps to Start Processing Your Emotions
Setting up space for healing—receiving what Jesus did on the cross for us—will be the less visible miracle with the most significant impact . . . if we give time and space to heal. To create space is to set aside time in our day, allowing us to slow down, even for a minute, to think about what we are thinking. Much of our healing will be partnering with God, whom we cannot see but can experience. Partnering with God will heal wounded places that are not visible to the naked eye but that the soul can feel.
Step 1: When we are healing from lies (and wanting to process our emotions), one of the first steps is to write down the thoughts we think on a regular basis.
What stories appear repeatedly throughout our day or in specific events? If we do not know what we believe, the gap between the spiritual and the physical will widen, causing us to feel distant from our bodies and from God.
Day to day, I fight back the narrative in my head that says I am not doing enough. I try to fill my to-do list with enough tasks so I can feel like a success. If I do not put that way of thinking into submission with truth, I end the day with an exhausted body and an overwhelmed mind. Every day I remind myself His grace is sufficient for me and He causes the increase, not me. Now is the time to ask: What narratives do I tell myself throughout the day?
Step 2: Once we begin to recognize the stories—the narratives—we tell ourselves, the second step is to name them and write them down.
If they are phrases, think of the feeling you experience with those phrases. Naming our feelings helps us begin to move through them with clarity and effectiveness. We no longer guess what we feel; we are aware of what we feel. Even though not naming them may feel safer, masking our feelings can make them difficult to regulate and bring into submission to God’s Word.
When we are processing our emotions, it is so important to be able to name them. A great way to help you do that is by getting an emotional wheel. (This link contains an affiliate link where I get a very small percentage back that supports my business.)
Step 3: After we spend time naming them, our third step is to create the time to spend with God to read His Word and know what He has to say about what we feel.
His Word trumps anything we feel. We can believe God even when we don’t experience His love wrapping around our feelings in the moment.
These three steps will bring awareness and help us move in the direction of healing with God’s Word because the gospel message heals the soul and brings life into our bodies. The hard and holy work is not the physical act but the spiritual discipline that causes us to act—recognizing what we believe will affect how we see.
One of my favorite ways to create space is to get outside, go for a walk, and be in nature. Therefore, I start the process by moving my body and walking with God through what I am experiencing. After I allow myself to process internally through the day, I grab the notebook I keep next to my bed at night. I dump out everything I was feeling for the day into my notebook to see what I was thinking on paper—to name every feeling and emotion. Then, I can begin to make sense of what was causing me to feel turmoil and uneasiness in my body.
Renewing our minds will take time. Working through past experiences and trauma will require patience. Learning why we respond and react the way we do will take consistency. Every time we create space for healing, we make more room in our hearts to know God on a deeper, more intimate level.
How You Can Further Practice Emotional Processing
People will share many ways to process emotions and move through their feelings. As a certified mental health coach and trauma-informed coach, I often share with my one-on-one coaching clients that it isn’t about getting rid of all of your emotions and never having a negative one again. Often, we will feel two emotions at once: joy and grief or hope and sadness. Here are a few more ways you can practice emotional processing:
Acknowledge and Accept Your Emotions:
- Example: Begin by recognizing and naming your emotions without judgment. Understand that all emotions, whether positive or negative, are valid and part of the human experience.
Identify Triggers:
- Example: Reflect on what situations, thoughts, or events triggered your emotional response. Keeping a journal can be helpful in identifying patterns and triggers.
Develop Healthy Coping Mechanisms:
- Example: Find healthy ways to cope with your emotions, such as exercise, creative activities, or spending time in nature. Avoid unhealthy coping strategies like substance abuse or avoidance.
Express Your Emotions:
- Example: Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about your feelings. Writing in a journal or engaging in expressive arts can also be effective ways to express emotions.
Use Grounding Techniques:
- Example: When emotions feel overwhelming, use grounding techniques like focusing on your senses, describing your surroundings, or holding a comforting object.
Seek Help:
- Example: If emotions are too intense or persistent, consider seeking help from a coach or counselor. You don’t have to try and continue to do it alone. Learn more about working one-on-one with me as your mental health coach or trauma-informed coach here!
By following these steps, you can process your emotions in a healthy and constructive manner.
If You Have Trouble Expressing Your Emotions – Try This
One effective thing you can do to improve your ability to communicate and express your emotions is to practice emotional journaling. Here’s how it can help and some steps to get started:
How It Helps:
- Clarifies Thoughts and Feelings: Writing down your emotions helps you to articulate what you’re feeling and why. It’s a way of processing emotions in a private space.
- Reduces Emotional Intensity: Putting your feelings into words can lessen their intensity, making them more manageable.
- Provides Insight: Regular journaling can reveal patterns and triggers in your emotional responses.
- Improves Communication: Practicing how to express your emotions in writing can translate into better verbal communication.
Steps to Get Started:
- Set Aside Time: Dedicate a specific time each day to write in your journal, even if it’s just for a few minutes.
- Find a Comfortable Space: Choose a quiet and comfortable place where you can reflect without distractions.
- Be Honest: Write honestly about what you’re feeling, without worrying about grammar or structure. The goal is to express yourself freely.
- Identify Emotions: Start by naming the emotion you’re experiencing (e.g., anger, sadness, joy). Use an emotion wheel or list if needed to pinpoint your feelings more accurately.
- Describe the Situation: Write about what happened to trigger this emotion. Include details about the event, people involved, and your reactions.
- Explore the Why: Reflect on why you feel this way. Consider underlying factors such as past experiences, beliefs, or unmet needs.
- Consider Solutions: Think about how you can address the situation or emotion constructively. This might include setting boundaries, having a conversation, or practicing self-care.
- Review and Reflect: Periodically review your journal entries to gain insights into your emotional patterns and growth.
By regularly engaging in emotional journaling, you can become more attuned to your feelings, articulate them more clearly, and communicate them more effectively in your interactions with others.
